Viagra Jokes
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society:
- DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
- PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one.
- CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills and "little" accidents.
- COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.
- BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit.
- NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.
- FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides.
- FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.
- LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.
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One morning, two 80-year-old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science, and such, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other elderly man wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for.
The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth! Makes you feel like a man of thirty."
The second man then asked, "Can you get it over the counter?"
"You probably could, if you took two pills," replied the first man.
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As the man began walking toward the door, his wife asked, "Where are you going?"
The man replied, "I'm going to the doctor."
"Why? Are you sick?" the wife asked.
"No," the husband replied. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."
His wife got up out of her rocker and started putting on her coat. The husband turned to her and asked, "Where are you going?"
The wife replied, "I'm going to the doctor, too."
"Why?" asked her husband.
His wife replied, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."
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Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra candy bar?
A: Oh, Oh, Oh my God, Henry!
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Q: What do you get when you mix Viagra and Prozac?
A: A guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where.
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Q: What is the difference between your first honeymoon and your second?
A: The first: Niagara; the second: Viagra.
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Q: What do you get when you mix Viagra with Rogaine?
A: Don King.
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Q: What is Viagra Falls?
A: A newly discovered waterfall that flows upward.
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Q: Did you hear about the 13-year-old boy that got hold of his father's Viagra?
A: They rushed him to the hospital with third degree burns on his hands.
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If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!
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Before Viagra, for some people, making love was classified as "Assault with a Dead Weapon."
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